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Dr. Susan Heitler, author of The Power of Two: Secrets to a Strong and Loving Marriage and The Power of Two Marriage Skills Workbook has been helping couples build lasting and loving marriages for over 30 years. She and her husband, married over 35 years, have enjoyed raising four children, now young adults with children of their own.

Relationships During Pregnancy
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QUESTION: My husband and I can NOT agree on a boy’s name. It's an ongoing battle between us for which I see no resolution. My husband wants to name our son Gus and I don't prefer to name him that...at all (no offense to others who named their child that). How can I get my husband to open up and talk about other names and work on a compromise instead of insisting on naming him Gus??

ANSWER: Names are tough because if one of you has bonded with a name, the attachment can become instant superglue. Here’s a routine that will work if your husband is willing to try to find a win-win solution, although from your description this sounds unlikely. When names are chosen in partnership, not via power struggle, both of you end up feeling good about the decision. > Read more

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Learn how digestive listening can effectively lead to a win-win solution in this weeks episode: Listen Up!

Advice From Other Moms

The Dilemma

"My husband had an affair that lasted almost two years, although he swears they only had sex a handful of times. He says that she was the aggressor and he was simply acting out during a mid-life crisis and due to his own insecurities (realizations he has made during the therapy he’s undertaken since I found out about the affair).

My husband swears he has always loved me and still loves me and wants to work things out. On some level I still love him too, but I am having a really hard time getting past the pain and can’t imagine ever trusting him again.

Is it possible to learn to love and trust again or should I just cut my losses and get out? "

The Solutions

"In answer to naming the child delima question: When I was born both my father & mother had a name for me so my official name became the one that my dad liked & my nickname became the one my mom liked...now my family & close friends call me by my nickname & formally i introduce myself with the name my dad chose.I love both my names & people adapt very easily to using both of my names with me."

by Sameera 8/29/2008 8:13:27 AM

"well, i am so sorry to hear of your heartache! i know from experience how you are feeling right now! all i can say is that is if you truely love him with all of your heart and he says that he loves you and he is willing to do whatever it takes, then you should try to work it out. love conquers all! he is admitting to you that he made a mistake and wnats a second chance with you. Whatever it is that he did with the other woman does not matter anymore. do not try to did deep into it...even tho i know you want to, because it will only hurt you more and make the healing process longer and harder to get over. Focus on you and him, not anything else. i would suggest counceling also. that helped me a lot! being honest about how you feel and letting him know how he made you feel and letting him know what you expect are very important things to remember. also, remember that he is suffering too...he has his own issues and he may need things from you too. share with one another about your needs a"

by Holly 8/28/2008 10:01:12 AM

"well i can tell u i was goin through the same thing, i find it really hard but at the same time we r both willing to try to put it in the past and go forward with our lives...yes i still think of it but everyday gets a little better and he is showing me that hes really trying for this relationship and that he made a mistake,i truly believe that people deserve a second chance because we all make mistakes and all u can do is try. we r goin through therapy to try to help with the trust and pain. but if u feel like u cant put it behind u and move forward then the best thing is to end it...but if u think u can really try and move forward it does get better. but its hard and a working progress everyday. hope this helps a little :)"

by brooke 8/27/2008 11:05:48 AM

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Relationships During PregnancyAsk the Relationship Expert

Learn how digestive listening can effectively lead to a win-win solution in this weeks episode: Listen Up!

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The Dilemma

The Solutions

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Relationships During Pregnancy
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