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Where Does Dad Fit In?

(page 2 of 3)

Let your partner know that you want to be with her for doctor visits, birth classes, and the birth of your baby.

While at the bookstore or library choosing books for your wife, be sure to take the time to find one for yourself. Better yet choose books you can read together as a couple.

Time for yourself:

Just as your partner needs time alone to reflect on the changes happening in her body and life, you too might want to take the time to reflect on how you're feeling. Some of the things that you can do for yourself are:

Reflect on how you're feeling about becoming a father. What kind of relationship do you want to have with your child?

Talk with other new fathers about how they felt when their children were born. Ask for tips on how to survive those first few weeks.

Talk to your father or grandfather about how it was for them when you were born. What kind of fears did they experience. What if anything would they do differently?

Begin to plan for the birth of your child. How flexible is your boss on time off for you to attend the birth of your baby, and perhaps a few days afterwards? Put in for time off early if possible. Check to see if your boss will allow you to have a pre-arranged amount of time off at a moment's notice.

Get to know the other dads-to-be in your childbirth class. Chances are they're feeling the same rollercoaster of emotions as you. Perhaps they'll have some tips on dealing with the day-to-day stress of being pregnant.

Behind closed doors:

Like everything during pregnancy, sex changes. Your partner's changing body, her nausea and vomiting, fatigue, your fear about hurting the baby, can all play a role in altering your sexual relationship.

Open and honest communication with your partner will help to alleviate both of your fears.

If you cannot get past the fear of hurting your baby, talk to your partner's doctor. He or she can explain all of the risk factors, and will explain what you can and cannot do. But you have to ask!

You will experience some changes, but sex doesn't have to cease.

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