Sex and Pregnancy

Over the course of your pregnancy, your body and mind will undergo a major transformation. One way to truly experience, celebrate and embrace these wonderful changes is through intimacy. Sex should not be a problem during your pregnancy, unless:

• You are bleeding

• Your physician has told you to abstain from sexual intercourse

• You have been diagnosed with placenta previa

• You are at risk for premature birth or labor

• You have a male partner with an active sexually transmitted disease, like herpes

• Your water has broken

While sex is safe for most women and even encouraged during pregnancy, it is different than before and it changes as your pregnancy progresses. During your first trimester, you may find that you and your partner are more interested in sex than usual. No longer having the pressure to conceive, or not having to think about birth control can be very liberating, and some women find that their private thoughts and fantasies are often sexual in nature.

In your first trimester, fluctuations in hormone levels can enhance your interest and your excitement in sex, and some women find that orgasms linger longer during this first trimester, causing a sort of tension in your vagina and clitoris. But as your breasts change and grow, you may find stimulation either particularly enjoyable or quite painful, and any morning sickness you suffer may kill your desire.

If you suffered from morning sickness in your first trimester and are finally feeling better in your second, you may find that sex and intimacy are more interesting and enjoyable than ever as you reach your fourth month. This is especially true because your vagina is more lubricated than usual and your clitoris and vagina are more sensitive. You may even find it easier to have an orgasm, or even multiple orgasms. But your partner may struggle with a fear of hurting the baby, particularly when the baby begins to move and kick and he is able to feel the little person growing inside of you.

Actually, your baby is suspended in the amniotic sac and protected from the outside world, including the rest of you. Your uterus is completely sealed off from your vagina by a mucous plug, so your baby will not be at all bothered. Your baby shouldn't contract any infections from sexual intercourse either, so long as both you and your partner practice good sexual hygiene and have no active sexually transmitted diseases.

By the time you've reached your third trimester, your pregnant body is dramatically different from your pre-pregnancy shape. Some women glory in their body's new curves and fullness, but others don't feel quite comfortable with it. How you perceive your body can have a big impact on how much you crave and enjoy sex in these months. Any back pain and a decreased energy level can also dampen your sex drive. However, most men go nuts about their partner's pregnant body and love its exaggerated femininity, and many couples enjoy experimenting with new positions as your belly grows and gets in the way. Popular options include spooning with your partner behind you, on your hands and knees, you on top, or lying on your side with one knee pulled up.

As your due date nears, and if your baby's head has moved deep within your pelvis, you may experience a bit of pain or spotting during sex. This is nothing to worry about and easy to avoid with shallow penetration or rear entry.

You may notice that after sex you're not satisfied or relieved of sexual tension, even though you reached orgasm. This is because of the constant engorgement of your vagina and clitoris, which make it easier for you to reach orgasm, but harder to reach a feeling of satisfaction. During an orgasm, you may notice that your uterus goes into spasms, and closer to your due date, you may feel contractions for about half an hour after sex. There's no need to worry about causing pre-term labor. Until your cervix is ready, you won't go into labor. Sex has been credited, however, with jump-starting labor once your body is ready, and it's thought that some women are especially sensitive to the prostagladins in semen, which can also cause the uterus to contract.

Most obstetricians advise their patients to wait until six weeks after delivery to resume sexual intercourse. This allows your genital tissues to heal completely from the rigors of delivery and avoids infection during the healing process. But if you don't have any tears, manual or oral stimulation of the clitoris is fine anytime after birth. But some women just aren't interested. They find that their sex drive is in neutral, either because they are just too tired and overwhelmed by new motherhood, the healing process is not yet complete, or because they fear pain, especially if their genital tissues experienced trauma during labor or delivery. The best way to overcome the fear of pain is to take control and gently guide your partner through sex.

Breastfeeding has also been known to dampen sexual desire. It affects your hormone levels, so if you find that your period is slow to return, you may also find that your libido is slow to resurface. Some couples find breast leakage during sex awkward, and some women find that all the breastfeeding they are doing satisfies their need for touch and intimacy, and they aren't much interested in sex. Of course, the exhaustion associated with being a new parent can also kill your sex drive. Caring for a new baby claims so much of the time and energy you used to have for being together as a couple, sexually and romantically. But, take heart! Soon, you'll have the energy and the interest, and many couples find that sex after birth is better than ever before.