Giving Advice to Your Grandchild's Parents

Spending time with your grandchild is contingent upon a healthy and friendly relationship with your grandchild's parents. Tread lightly when offering advice, and respect your child and in-law as parents. Remember that offering advice should never offend, control or modify your child's parenting style, but instead, provide a positive foundation for growth and learning.

Tricky Territory

With age comes wisdom, and you may be eager to share your wealth of knowledge about childrearing with your grandchild's parents. But be careful when giving advice to a daughter-in-law-she may be resistant to your requests. Make the distinction between offering advice, being bossy, and sharing opinions. To help you mind your manners, consider the following advice:

• Never undermine and criticize the parents in front of your grandchild-this will send the grandchild mixed signals and upset the parents.

• If something is truly irritating you, voice your concerns directly to the parent and not through or around the grandchild. Bottling up your emotions can also be a recipe for disaster.

• Respect boundaries: this might require you to keep your opinions to yourself-even when you don't agree.

• If you've offended someone, take the time to assess the situation and address the issue after both parties are calm.

• Keep communication open and friendly; a hostile tone will be your own worst enemy.

Conflicts are inevitable, but let your grandchild's parents know you mean well.